I am feeling in control again. After my STS (stayed the same) week, and then only 1.8 down last week (yes, I do know that’s a good amount), and then my skipping a workout and my make-up workout it all left me feeling like I was slowly losing control of my weight loss journey. I started questioning my choices and my decisions and my resolve.
However, when I weighed in this week I was down 2.8lbs for total of 55lbs lost! Clearly my sense of success is still very much tied to the number on the scale. I’d like to work on this. I think that’s why I’ve started learning to run – it gives me a goal to focus on that has to do with how my body performs (what it can do!) rather than a number on a scale. But, that said, I’ll continue to celebrate my losses! Here is a photo of my weight loss – one full jug of water at 40lbs, a 10lb sack of potatoes and 5lbs of butter!
I also received a wonderful compliment from someone at my meetings. This woman is a lifetime member who has gained a bit of weight and is now back at weekly meetings. She was around last time I lost the weight. She mentioned today that she didn’t recognize me from the back and it wasn’t until she heard my voice that she realized it was me! We spoke about exercising and how I mentioned that I can see my body changing its shape (and she said she noticed it too). Last time I lost the weight exercise was not a big part of my life – I would do a bit here and there but nothing scheduled or organized. It was never a regular part of my life. Things are so different now – that I would end up feeling guilty for missing workouts!! (Never in a million years would I have thought that would be me. Never!)
Speaking of changing my body shape – I own a really gaudy silver belt. I do not wear it out on a day to day basis, but rather it’s one of my go-to pieces whenever I need to throw together an 80s outfit. I have an old picture of me wearing it when I weighed 176. I tried it on this weekend and it fits! I can wear it on my hips the same way as in the photos but I’m 20lbs heavier! Last time, I lost weight but my body shape never changed. I’ve talked about how I think this was a contribuing factor to my regaining the weight here. This time I can see the changes on my body – this is so new to me still – and I KNOW that including exercise on a regular basis is the reason for it.
I am still planning on putting up some photos – I’m just trying to track down a before pic. Harder then it seems as I would avoid being in pictures when at my heaviest so I’ve asked friends to scour their event photos for an unflattering (i.e. accurate) photo of me from May 2010. I hope to have some up by the end of the month.