Weigh-In Week 129: Nibble, nibble, nibble

Blargh. I’m up 2.0lbs this week. New weight is 163lbs with a total loss of 88.6lbs.  I won’t feign ignorance at all. I snacked. I snacked a lot. I (clearly) didn’t count it properly, and if I’m totally honest I didn’t count all of it.

I’ve been trying to figure out why I am keeping this up and down thing going? What am I getting out if it? I feel comfortable in this body – is that it? I’m comfortable and I don’t want to change things? I think I do. I think I want to get to goal. I think I do… But I feel so stuck in my habits.

I used to be able to control my snacking and nibbling. What happened? When did I lose my willpower? When did I give in? Because that’s what it feels like sometimes. Like I’ve just given in and given up. My gains don’t even bother me anymore because I figure oh, I’ll lose it and then I’ll gain it back – it’s like I’m comfortable in this cyclical pattern I’ve set up for myself.

At today’s meeting my leader had some really great points. One in particular is that she said: “Falling into a schedule can lead to bad habits”. It really struck home because that’s what I think has happened. I’ve fallen into a schedule where I snack at work and I snack at home at night. It’s been hard breaking these habits, and really I still haven’t broken them. I find it difficult to not give in to that voice – that voice that pops into my head at my moments of weakness and says – go ahead, what can one bite hurt? But then one bite turns into another and another and another. I also find it difficult to say no to free food. At work we have a plethora of crackers and snackables just sitting about – none of it healthy (and we work in one large open concept office so I can SEE it all, no out of sight out of mind happening here), I’m often at events where free food flows – why can’t I say no anymore?? What happened? What’s changed?

I need to REALLY re-evaluate how I eat during the day. I miss eating dinner at home – I haven’t been able to do that for about 2 months now. Most nights I’m on the go right after work. I miss making a proper meal – they keep me full and keep my evening snacking at bay.

Well off I go, trying to lose this 2lb gain this week. I hope I can do it. I’d love to have some significant losses, I’d love to feel like I’ve made some progress this year.

On a sillier note, in case you don’t follow me on twitter – yesterday I accidently  wore 2 different shoes to work…and here’s the kicker, I didn’t notice it until well after noon! What?!  Clearly one is an old pair…oops.

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7 thoughts on “Weigh-In Week 129: Nibble, nibble, nibble

  1. At work, why don’t you tell yourself that you saw a couple of co-workers come out of the bathroom without washing their hands. It might give you a gross factor for not touching the food.

    • Thanks Hazel. I wish it were that easy! I dare say it is, as I believe obesity is, part of deeper psychological issues. I must get to the bottom of them if I intend to be successful in not only losing the weight, but in keeping it off as well!

  2. I feel like I’m in the same place as you! I haven’t lost weight since the end of December of 2011. I’ve just been bouncing around the same five pound range. It’s ridiculous and frustrating to me. Someday I’ll make some real progress.

    I hope things get better for you too!!

  3. Pingback: Relatable | the unhealthy vegetarian

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