Weigh-In Week 130: Oh, hello sabotage

I am up 2lbs today for a new weight of 165lbs and a total loss of 86.6lbs. WTF!! Why do I keep doing this to myself. Yes, I’ve said this before – whine, whine, whine, bitch, bitch, bitch. That’s how I feel sometimes. I know exactly what I’m doing wrong, but somehow, in the moment, despite all my best intentions, making the better decision, the right decision becomes impossible. What starts out as one cracker here, one piece of cheese there, a handful of cereal here turns into a snowball effect and before I know it I’ve finished off a bag of crackers or half a box of cereal.

Yes, there is such a thing as moderation, but one must also know when moderation does not work for them. We all have foods which we love and enjoy so much we just can’t stop ourselves. I know this about myself and Nutella and thus I do not buy Nutella for the house. Ever. Full stop. I know this about myself and white bread also. I also do not buy white bread for the house. HOWEVER. Apparently it still hasn’t sunk it about crackers. Really, it’s like miniature slices of white bread. What’s not to love? How easy they are to eat – just pop one one in, and if so inclined one can use them to scoop up other delightful things like hummus or cheese.

Source

Now I have learned that I should not buy them and bring them home. Which I don’t. But we do have them flowing freely at work. Ugh. The part that really hasn’t sunk in is that I can’t have ONE cracker. It just doesn’t work that way. I just don’t work that way. I have to say no. I can’t have one. Maybe in a year or maybe not. But for now I need to take an honest look at the food in my life that makes me spiral out of control and just cut it out. I need some sense of control over my eating again because for the last few months I just haven’t felt it. I feel the food has been controlling me.

I need to make real changes to my habits because I can see my old habits creeping back in. Oh there always there aren’t they? In the back…lurking in the shadows, just ready to come out when I’m not looking and not paying attention.

Okay. So, I resolve to make some concrete changes this week where I feel I have been slipping.

Be it resolved that concrete things I will change this week include:

1. Drink WAY more water. I haven’t been drinking enough and I can feel it, I feel dehydrated. I will drink at least 3 litres a day. That’s 6 (reusable) bottles worth. I have done it. I can do it.

2. Eat more vegetables. I’ve been skimping on this also. Maybe that’s why I’m not feeling full? I will get back in the habit of bringing cut veggies to work for a snack.

3. I will snack at 3-3:30pm. I made some baked oatmeal this weekend that is 3pts per “muffin”. It is kinda like bread, but no flour. I will bring one with me as a midday snack. Want the recipe? Check it out at Sugar-Free Mom here.

4. I will not eat if I come home after 11pm. Yes, that may seem late to many people, but that’s my reality. I can’t go to sleep right away so usually I pitter patter away some time on the computer before hand and that’s when the bad choices/decisions get made usually.

And that’s it. Not too difficult and it WILL keep me on track. That’s all I got. Off I go to with my new-found resolve. Let’s hope this is enough resolve to get me back in the right frame of mind.

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