REASON FOR LOSING WEIGHT 1: To be considered

REASON FOR LOSING WEIGHT 1: To be considered

What do I mean by that? I mean to be honestly considered – by men, by colleagues, for jobs etc. If you don’t like me, don’t like my skills or accomplishments, then that’s fine. But let that be the reason for not dating me, for not interviewing or hiring me and not my weight.  Not the facade that you see before you, not my fat, not what it represents to you. 

To deny that our society does not judge by appearances or make assumptions is idealistic, foolhardy, and naive. We all make split-second judgments based on physical appearance – from weight to hair colour to personal hygiene.  Most are innocuous. But some are not.

I wanted to lose weight because I didn’t want my body to stop me.  I wanted to be considered:  as a partner by men, I wanted to be able to go into job interviews or when networking and not let my body “talk” to the other person before I could. That is the truth. It is not pretty. And we, as humans, are by no means perfect or non-judgmental. We like to categorize and we respond to aesthetics – our brains are built that way. I wanted to lose weight to fit into what we consider the “norm” so that my weight did not stop me from success – be it personal or professional. I have no proof either way that it did or didn’t, but I wanted to remove the variable.

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9 thoughts on “REASON FOR LOSING WEIGHT 1: To be considered

  1. I wanted to loose weight because I thought it would make me feel better about my self. I wanted to loose weight because I thought it would make me happy. I needed to loose the weight so someone would love me. I have since learned I had it all back words.I needed to learn to love my self. I need to nurture myself, trust myself and learn to make myself happy. I needed to learn to not beat myself up. The weight is now coming off.

    Love Life

    • I read a lot of blogs about many people who seem to hate themselves or who are only losing weight to be loved (sometimes by one particular person and sometimes by anyone). Perhaps you thought I meant I didn’t think I deserved to be loved or to get the jobs I wanted. It wasn’t about that – it was about what my 90lb heavier body communicated to others. And our body does communicate to others. Humans are visual creatures – we see before we hear. I work in an industry where physical appearance matters, perhaps more so than in other fields, and the reality is that those who are overweight are in fact more often passed over for promotions, raises etc. To acknowledge this is not to say I am unhappy, but rather that I am acutely aware of my industry.

      Happiness and and self-esteem was never my problem and my weight did come off – 90lbs that I’ve kept off for a year now. It’s this final 20ish lbs that I’m after so I’m looking back at all my initial reasons for losing the weight. Good luck on your journey.

  2. I do understand exactly what you mean. I guess it is also one of the reasons why I’m on this journey… Ever since you do notice that people judge you very hard on your appearance. I was even told some times that I could apply to the job again if I lost some weight and it doesn’t feel right… but well! They don’t know what they are losing saying that! Even though it hurts I’ve learned that there comes a moment when you can show who you really are, no matter how you look and that is the most important, never forget who you are in the inside!!! 😉

    • Yes indeed, we should never forget who we are on the inside 🙂 I guess I’d gotten to a point where I thought there was just too much of a disconnect between the inside and the outside. That people were seeing the outside and making decisions based on that before I could show them who I am on the inside. That was when I realized I needed to change that.

      And I have to say people treat me differently now – not that I was badly treated before I was lucky not to have experienced any out-right rudeness or mean behaviour, but I am definitely treated differently now…oh and people smile at me more now too.

  3. You are very brave to face all of this and to write about it. This comes under the heading of Things I Wouldn’t Let Myself Think About. I’m facing up to these things, slowly. It’s hard to accept that I pretended not to be bothered by it for many years. All part of the journey!

  4. Pingback: Weigh-In Week: 190: Up a little again | Pound per Pound

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