Weigh-in Week 165: Up again – Nervous & Dejected

Well I’m up again. Up 2.2lbs to a new weight of 158.4lbs and a total loss of 93.2lbs. I’m feeling nervous, worried, dejected, and scared.

I’m nervous that I can’t stop eating at night. I’m worried I’ll regain all my weight. I’m feeling completely dejected about everything to do with my eating and my weight loss. I’m scared I’ve already blown it.

To be honest, I’m more worried about my lack of control lately then I am with my weight loss. I’m worried I will never get control of my eating. I’m scared this is the beginning of a very slippery slope. I find myself not really tracking, or at least tracking halfheartedly, not measuring my food, and convincing myself that that bite or two isn’t that bad. Right now I’m feeling like even if I did try, I would end up gaining each week – it almost feels inevitable. And I don’t know what to do to stop it. I don’t.

Sorry this isn’t a longer post. It’s late as well. I think it all speaks to my frame of mind lately. I can’t keep doing what I’ve been doing, but I don’t really know what I can do different right this instant. I feel like I am opting not to eat pastries, desserts, chocolates etc. but somehow end up eating uncontrollably at night. Blargh.

On a positive note however – the no Splenda is going well. I definitely have cravings for it and I think, oh, it’d would be so easy and voila my coffee would be sweeter, but I’m holding on. No Splenda, Day 6 and going strong. And a second positive note is that I had one of my fastest runs last night in the last 2 weeks. I’ve been on antibiotics so my runs have been a bit laboured. And hey, why not have a trifecta – a third positive note is that this coming July 1st is CANADA DAY! Yippee! This makes me excited 🙂

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6 thoughts on “Weigh-in Week 165: Up again – Nervous & Dejected

  1. I found myself nodding along with everything you’re feeling…I’m in the exact same place right now. It’s a scary spot to be. I wish I had some brilliant suggestion to offer…just know that you aren’t alone!

  2. I can relate. I think what’s great about this situation is that you are aware. You know what your problem areas are and now you can come up with a plan to handle it. I’ve been doing a lot of late night snacking too, but I’ve been going with the flow and instead of reaching for junk all of the time, I decided to create a snack plate that has good fats and low calories such as edamame and fruit. Sometimes this is the body’s way of saying I’m not getting the nutrients that I need and I want more. Sometimes it’s just your mind playing tricks on you. You’ll figure it out, just stay positive and don’t give up. I wish I could say I weight 158. I’m finally out of the 180 range and that feels awesome. You’re doing great, hang in there……..Healthy Journey!

    • Thank you for the support. A snack plate is a great idea. I get home from work after 9pm and am not hungry for a meal, but then it backfires on me and I end up snacking all night. I think pre-portioned plates a great idea! I have some edamame just waiting to be eaten 🙂 I find the smaller I get there more slight gains affect me. Healthy Journey to you as well!

  3. no no no slippery slope. I had this same thing happen to me and I kept wanting to eat and eat and eat in the evenings. It was like I wasn’t satisfied so I just kept looking for things. It was a total diet disaster!!! And so easy to throw in the towel or feel like I should throw in the towel. So I took a step back and evaluated and what I discovered is I really need that complete dinner and then a real dessert. As long as they are within my calorie range I’m okay but it’s important that my body feel satisfied. My guess here is the Splenda. At night try having something really decadent (I know, counter intuitive, but it works) just to give your body that finale and then you’re done. I think it’s important to live and love the food then let that food control you! Keep at it!

    • Thanks for the support! Yes, indeed, I think what I need is a full meal. I find eating when I get home after 9pm is too late and I eat more than I need and end up overly full. But I don’t often have time to eat at work before hand. I dinner around 8pm would be perfect for me. Still trying to figure out a way to make it happen. Will keep at it!

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