Ooph! So this post got seriously waylaid by the holidays. I started writing it on Tuesday and then it got put aside…then I traveled for the holidays to my mom’s house – which is in Southern Ontario and since then we’ve been hit with an ice storm! Ack. Seriously I was in Montreal when the big one hit in 1998 and now this one. I’ve had enough ice storms to last me a lifetime thank you very much.
So now I get back to it…
Okay. Today I was up 0.6lbs for a new weight of 162.7lbs and total loss of 88.9lbs. Gotta say this up a couple pounds down a couple pounds is really getting tiresome. I’d be lying if I didn’t say that I wasn’t nervous that this dancing around the same spot for the last couple years could cause me to go overboard. I don’t want to gain back all the weight. I really don’t. And I’d like to lose this last 20ish pounds and get down to my goal weight and actually focus on maintenance, not just by default. 😐
I had a conversation with my WW leader and she asked me why I was struggling. Good question. Very good question. And I don’t know the answer.
A little over a year ago I wrote down seven reasons why I wanted to lose weight. However, something I’ve noticed is that the reasons I had outlined before to lose weight no longer really apply. And to be honest, although it was a topic at our WW meetings about a month ago – I’ve realized that I’m struggling to find new reasons.
Reason 1: To be Considered – I no longer feel out of the norm, when I meet a guy for a date or show up at an interview I no longer worry that someone is going to be surprised by my physical appearance (i.e. my weight)
Reason 2: To be Comfortable in my Body: I no longer feel uncomfortable. Sure, sometimes I feel swollen and bloated and some clothes feel tighter every now and then, but in general I don’t give my body the same thought I used to. I don’t get out of breathe easily – in fact I always choose stairs over an escalator or elevator when given the chance. I can bend over, I carry heavy items, I fit easily in chairs and booths etc. I no longer worry my body won’t be able to do something I want it to do.
Reason 3: To Wear Pretty Clothes: Ok, so it’s not like I can wear anything I want – I still have these huge calves and my body isn’t tiny – I’m about a size 8-12 depending on the type of store (e.g. I’m an 8/small at Old Navy but a 12/large at higher end stores!) — but over all I’m able to find cute and pretty clothes. In fact I discovered I really like wearing cute dresses and have a whole collection!
Reason 4: For my body to be a machine: Fine, it’s not a machine…yet…but you know what it can do a heck of a lot! I can run a 5K without a second thought and in fact run a 10k. I weight train often and have actual muscle definition. The notion of joining a sports team or going for a hike or bike ride are actually exciting me nowadays rather than terrifying. I look forward to new ways of moving and testing my body.
Reason 5: So my weight doesn’t stop me from living my life: You know what? It doesn’t…not anymore. I actually can’t remember the last time I considered my weight when I thought about doing something. I’m actually a little bit in shock as I write this because I really haven’t considered my weight in a long time and I’m a bit surprised by that. Wow. I’ve come a long way.
Reason 6: To not be out of breath: Wow. It’s been a long time since I’ve been out of breath doing everyday things. Now even when I exercise and I get out of breath I get excited because I know it means I’ve pushed myself further. I look forward to being out of breath – again I can’t believe by how far I’ve come.
Reason 7: To be happy with my life: “Happiness is a journey, not a destination.” -Alfred D. Souza. Ain’t that the truth. I can definitely say I am happier now then I was then. But it’s all a journey and it’s nice to
Here is where I find myself – I have to find my new reasons. The reasons to take me past this blip and onto goal…