Weight Loss

REASON FOR LOSING WEIGHT 5: So my weight doesn’t stop me from living my life

Okay, this one is late and coming in right before the deadline of midnight. Today was a day filled with family obligations and travel so I’ve left it a bit late. That’s okay. Here is reason number 5!

There are many things I’d like to do in life. I suppose it’s my bucket list, except that I haven’t made an official list anywhere and I’m pretty sure I forget as many things as I “remember” suddenly! Ha! Some of the things on my list are things like: go skydiving, travel to the Mayan temples in Mexico and the Inca sites in Peru. There are others, but I’m going to focus on these later on. I am, in general, the person who is up for anything. You might not know it if you don’t know me well enough as I come across as someone who likes to plan things in advance – which is true, but flip side is that I’ll also take off and do random things on the spur of the moment.

So what do the 3 above things have in common? Well you have to be in pretty good shape to be able to do them, or at least to be able to do them the way I would want to. I realized as I was getting bigger and bigger that my weight was stopping me from living my life. And by that I mean that I wouldn’t be “up for anything” as much anymore and to be honest, people didn’t ask me as often (now that’s a chicken and the egg question there, so who knows, but it’s still relevant). I realized that even if I”m not talking about “adventures” I just didn’t want to do as much. Would I get tired easily? Was it just too much effort? Could my night be better spent at home…eating? (Seriously I thought this!) And I realized I just didn’t want to live that way. I wanted to be that person that was “up for anything”.

Then it happened – last year, when I was about 175lbs, a friend emailed a group of us to say there was a Groupon coupon for a night of trapeze lessons. Yes, you read that right. Trapeze. We have a place in Montreal called Trapezium  which will teach you how to do FLYING TRAPEZE!! What!? Well what can I say – I said yes! And I did it. Now I had a bit of a panic attack my first time at the bar and I had to climb back down because I wasn’t sure my arms could hold my body. But after I calmed myself down I put my big girl panties on and conquered my fear and did it. Ok. Let’s be honest, I don’t need to do it again, but I can now say I’ve done it. That’s what I mean by my weight not stopping me. Instead of looking for excuses anymore I now look for adventure. Because sometimes the experience is worth it, and sometimes it’s the story at the end of the night.

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Body Awareness · Exercise · Weight Loss

and now for something completely different: Trapeze!

That’s right! I went trapezing! What was I thinking… a few months ago there was a groupon for half off trapeze lessons and a friend suggested a group of us try it out. So we did.

Now, I have a crazy fear of falling – not heights as I am on perfectly fine on a stable platform no matter how high and I can look down no problem – so it took me some serious mental convincing so I could jump off the platform. Here are a few photos of the the ridiculous event. Sorry for the blurriness – it all happened so fast!

I’m pretty sure I was screaming for my life at this point:

I also realized that I don’t trust my own body. I have spent so much of my life coming up with convenient excuses as to why I couldn’t do something when I knew I didn’t have the strength/stamina/wouldn’t fit that I realized it is very difficult to start to change that mindset

I don’t believe my body can do things other bodies can do.

I’ve been overweight my whole life, so when I was a kid I never did stuff like the monkey bars because my arms were too weak to hold my weight. Well this all came back at the trapeze gym. I didn’t trust that my arms would support my body because they never could before. It was very difficult for me to let go and trust that I wasn’t going to hurt myself – because before with the extra weight I would have, very easily.

I’m also realizing that this mindset is infiltrating my weight-loss attempts. Simply put, I don’t think I can do it. I see other people who have/can do this, but I don’t think my body can do what other bodies can do. I’m not sure what to do to change this other then keep trying. I really think that I’ve only failed if I give up. If I stop trying.

This week hasn’t been too bad food wise, not as great activity wise as I’d like, but I’ll be off to the gym tonight.  I’ve been eating properly, full meals for the most part and I am within my points but I’m still not sure what the outcome will be Tuesday.

Although I will say I am looking forward to trying more new things in the future even though this was very difficult for me and brought out a slew of issues. I think my mind catching up with my body will be a long process, but the important thing is that I don’t let myself give up in the meantime.

What new things have you tried recently that you didn’t think you could do?