Wow. So the other day I had a bad day at work and ended up having to stay late unexpectedly. Given I already work 12 hour days a 14 hour day was even worse because I wasn’t prepared. I didn’t have my dinner, I didn’t have plans that evening but I did have lots to do that night that I had to do when I got home.
Well what happened you ask!? I got home in a foul mood, I had started snacking badly at work because I wasn’t prepared with a healthy dinner or snack to tie me over so when I got home all I wanted to do was to eat, eat, eat. And that I did! I huge soup topped with lots of cheese and bread on the side followed by a big bowl of popcorn as I settled in to stay up late to get to the work I had to do.
It was such a clear case of emotional eating! I sometimes wondered if I was an emotional eater or not. Or if really at the heart of it of it all I just eat big portions. I know for sure I eat when I’m bored, other than that I had never really noticed if I ate when I was feeling particularly happy, sad, or angry. But I am definitely noticing the connections now. Sheesh! How many years have I been at this?!
It’s good to see the connections though as it can only help me to plan ahead and fight it. I can talk to myself and be clear that I’m only eating because I’m tired or angry or upset. The first step is acknowledging the problem right?
Another week has come and gone and I’m happy to report I am down 2.0lbs! Yay! This makes my current weight 192.8 for a total of 58.8lbs lost so far 🙂 Here is a photo of the weight I’ve lost so far as usual. Boy, let me say that I can’t wait until I can post something else instead of those pounds of butter! That 60lbs lost is just around the corner…eeek!
This was an okay week, pretty standard on the eating front. I didn’t have a big meal or splurge over the week, but rather ate pretty well all week. In addition to my daily points I ate about half my weekly points. Exercise-wise I got in 4 days: two at the gym and two at-home video workouts.
If something particularly out of the ordinary happens in a week I like to try to use it as learning experience about my relationship to food. I used to always think I was an emotional eater – mostly because it seems everyone else is! To be honest I didn’t really know what that meant – I just always ate a lot so I assumed that meant I ate based on my emotions. I learned this weekend that that is in fact not the case. I had suspected this before – for example after a particularly horrible break-up years ago I didn’t know what to do with myself and actually thought “hey, most people eat ice cream after a break-up, that’s what I’ll do”. Seriously.
This weekend was a particularly emotional roller coaster – I have a friend who is a recovering drug addict who relapsed over the weekend. I was woken up at 6am Sunday morning with a desperate text message. I rushed to help and what followed was a tumultuous Sunday and Monday. (side note: the dust has settled; lots to deal with, but everyone is safe) I did not overeat either of these days, in fact I ate less then I normally would.
So what type of an eater am I if not an emotional eater? I am a bored eater. I eat when I’m bored – at night especially, when I’m working at the computer (let’s be honest – reading/replying to emails, reading/writing reports, budgets etc. is not the most thrilling work out there), when I’m alone, and when I think I can get away with it (usually when I’m alone). This is the reason I work out at night during the week – my two gym dates are both at night. The reasons for this are: 1. it’s cheaper (I do pay-as-you-go, no membership – it keeps me more accountable surprisingly enough) and 2. it occupies my time at night.
At this time I find that physically removing myself from the temptation seems to work. So that’s where I’m at this week.