No, no, I haven’t disappeared…but it feels that way. I’ve been struggling to say the least and I just felt writing the same “I’m struggling” post every week wasn’t very helpful and might just come off as whiny. I’m still updating my weekly weigh-in page if you’re interested so for now I’m just trying to chug along. Today I weighed-in at 168.0. Not great, but better than last week as I was down 0.6lbs. I’m trying to get back on track and it’s been difficult. I’m not going away, I’m just being a bit quiet for now. Thanks for reading 🙂
Well this week wasn’t actually that bad – I was up 0.1lb for a new weight of 160.7lbs and a total loss of 90.9lbs. I’m not feeling too bad about it as that aforementioned cold really did me in this week. Dare I say the Flu?? Maybe it was, but it really knocked me out so I wasn’t doing much exercising or moving and even drinking water was difficult. I was drinking tea, but I do add sugar to it and I ended up eating lots of comforting foods like breads that were easy to digest as I’ve also been fighting a cough so it left me feeling very exhausted. This week didn’t get off to a great start but I’ve tracked everything and I’m feeling on track for the rest of the week. So here we go!
Ok. So from the title you probably won’t be expecting this but I was up 0.3lbs today. So new weight is 163.3lbs and a total loss of 88.3lbs. So why am I excited by this gain? Well let’s enter the world of a bit too much information shall we? It’s a time of the month where, being female, bloating and cravings are at their highest. So the fact that it’s only a 0.3lb gain is amazing.
To put this into perspective let’s see:
- 4 weeks ago: up 4.2lbs
- 8 weeks ago: up 3.4lbs
- 12 weeks ago: up 3.5lbs
Are we understanding now? Compared to past weigh-ins this 0.3 gain is a welcome relief. Funnily enough it makes me feel confident about upcoming weigh-ins. So much of this is about what’s going on in your head that when you feel confident and in control it’s easier to stay that way. Here’s hoping this is the turning tide.
My leader asked at today’s meeting, and I’m paraphrasing here! “Don’t you feel that when your head is in the game you can meet any challenge that’s thrown your way (e.g. parties, unexpected sweets etc.)?” Yes. Yes I do. I know that when my head is in the game I eat and track truthfully. That resisting that dessert isn’t a big deal. That I am satisfied by only one helping at dinner. That I drink more water. All these I know to be true. To be honest – sometimes when I know my head is not where it needs to be for me to lose weight I try to just wait it out rather than fighting it. Maybe I should be trying to change it up – but you know what else – sometimes just waiting it out (without regaining!) is the way to go for me. Why? Because I know I’ll get back to it. Some meals are easier than others. Some days are easier than others. Some months are easier than others. Heck, some years are easier than others. And that’s just where we’re at.
Well things have not gone according to plan. I mean do they ever really? Let’s see what’s been happening: two weeks ago in particular was not a good one. I was up 4.2lbs! Ooph! Well two things happened that week: 1. I switched into jeans for the coming winter – it was just too cold to keep weighing-in in a dress and 2. I was bloated. Neither of these helped and although I was expecting a gain, this one was a bigger one then I had thought. Last week went better and I was down 1.7lbs. And then this week was ok-ish in that I was up 0.2lbs. So my new weight is 164.2lbs. Not bad considering I spent the last week visiting my mom, but still not great. That number is much higher then the beginning of the year and it’s making me feel like a failure. I know that that’s harsh, but it’s how I feel right now.
I’m trying my best, but I fear my best is not good enough.
I haven’t been blogging because it’s been hard to write these numbers down. I know negative talk isn’t good for me – especially when it comes to weight loss but I feel like I’m caught in a spiral. I’m still running, but I know that what I’m eating isn’t where it should be. And it isn’t even like I’m eating huge amounts or tons of desserts! If it was, I’d understand!!
I feel like if I eat just a little bit more then my daily points, I’ll gain 2lbs. I know that self reporting when it comes to food is notoriously flawed (i.e. we always think we eat way less then we actually do), so maybe that’s it. Maybe I really have been eating so much more. I just can seem to get a handle on it and get back into a weight-loss groove. I felt so good at 150bls and now I just feel bloated, heavy, and weighed down.
Yesh, yesh, I am still here. I’ve been slacking on the blogging. My apologies. With all the ups and downs I’ve been less inclined to blog about it. I just assume no one wants to hear the difficulties. Well here’s the updates. Week 181 wasn’t so great – I was up 2.2lbs for a new weight of 164.4lbs and at last week’s weigh in I was down 2.9lbs for a new weight of 161.5 and a total loss of 90.1lbs.
I guess the reason I’m not thrilled is that I’m just not sure it’s the beginning of a downward trend or not yet. This week hasn’t been going great so far so we’ll see. I’ll get back to posting regularly this coming week!
Well weigh-in didn’t go as planned. I was up 0.9lbs for a new total of 160.9lbs with a total loss of 90.7lbs.
I’m very late on this post, mostly because this week has been a bit crazy for me. The main reason is that last weekend I learned that my 10K race was tomorrow – Sept. 22nd and NOT the 29th as I had thought all along!! EEEK! Thank goodness my friend mentioned it – she’s running the half. I ran my practice 10K last weekend and the new news totally messed with my mind. My run was hard and I even got a stitch in my side which I never get anymore. Oooph.
I think I’m ready for tomorrow. I mean I will be able to run it, it’s just a matter of if I’ll be able to run it in the time I want. Right now my main goal is to beat last year’s time of 1:02:10.
I think this post will be short and sweet as I have to get to bed and make sure I’m up nice and early so I have time to digest my oatmeal and drink my coffee. I’ll report back after the race!
Here is the course this year. It has some hills, but they’ve broken up the one big one we had 2 years ago. The rain is falling right now, which is nice as it’s cutting the humidity. All this makes for hopefully a favourable race. Here goes nothing!
Ok, so things are not going well. I was up 3.5lbs yesterday at weigh-in for a new weight of 162.8 and a total loss of 88.8lbs.
I guess that’s what comes from taking the long weekend off tracking. Eesh. The damage is worse then expected. Yes I had some ice cream, yes, I had some pie, but you know at the end of the day I didn’t think my choices were that terrible – especially not 3.5lbs terrible.
But I’m feeling better about the upcoming week and month. In fact even the last couple days things have been going better. I am making good choices and before eating I am even giving thought that I should double-check if I have enough points. I’ve eaten well and I’ve eaten within my points budget. I also went out for a run last night – I’m keeping on track with my 10K training.
Now, something I know to be true is that true change (weight loss, regular exercise, quitting smoking etc.) can only happen from within. There is nothing someone else can say that will make one act or to get their butt in gear. It’s all internal. It’s all about that voice in your head. Well I can say that things are feeling like they might be moving back in sync. I’m not happy where my pace is at for running these days – the extra weight doesn’t help and it’s the last thing I want before a race. And I am able to be more in control this coming month with my food – I’ve started making my lunch again so I’m hoping this will all lead to more positive thinking on my part and some real results.
My old leader and the receptionist have both recommended I try to get back to meetings. I’d love to, but only problem is that there isn’t really one available at a time I’m free. All the weekend ones are early Saturday’s and I can’t risk that given that I work Saturdays sometimes. I wish there were some available in the afternoons on the weekends. There is one at 7:45am on Wednesdays. It just seems a bit too early, but I’m wondering if it’s worth it to switch my weigh-ins to Wednesdays and try these meetings.
Well, here’s to getting back on track…